Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo was on Showtime. If you're not familiar with this groundbreaking film, it's because it's terrible and it should NOT be on television. Headband-clad street kid: Hey, look who's here! It's Kelly!
13-year old girl with one glove: Special Kelly!
13-year old boy with the other glove on: Special K!
Glove girl: Hey, Special K, look what Ozone taught us.
(She does the worm.)
Disembodied voices: All right, Kelly's back! All right! Hey, that's fresh.
(Kelly turns to Ozone.)
Kelly: So, you're teaching class?
Ozone: Yeah, I'm teaching class now.
(Everyone breaks into a hip-hop dance sequence though "The Avenue" that lasts 8 minutes and ends with some mime tour guide.)
No one wears a bra in this movie, and it's disgusting. All the men wear mid-drifts. There's more dancing than dialog! Everything's so jiggly...
The most thought-provoking part of this film isn't the race-relations/dancing undertones. I only had to get through the opening credits to have my mind blown. Menahem Golan produced this movie. Take a look at his CV. He's essentially the man behind EVERY BAD MOVIE IN THE 1980s, including my favorite "The Apple." Oh I wish...I wish...I wish...
James Lipton: The year: 1988. A young, flexible martial artist was not yet an international icon. But Menahem Golan saw something in Jean-Claude Van Damme, and cast the fit Frenchman in a little movie called...Bloodsport.
(some spattering of applause; mostly by Chuck Norris and guest.)
Menahem: You know when you just see a cross-eyed guy headlining a karate expo at the Staples Center and you think, "That guy's gotta be in pictures?"
James Lipton: Genius.
Is it sad that I immediately recognized Menahem Golan's name? No sadder than the fact that I'm addicted to weed-pulling. That reminds me...
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