Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Christmas Time is Here

I've recently moved from the Soho flat I shared with Marc to the assistant curator's townhome in Camden. Although this is a little further away from the Hayward Gallery, there are quite a few positives:

- I have a bed
- I have a shower
- I have a microwave
- I have a front door (in Soho, we lived at the top of a staircase. An intruder would have to key open the door to the apartment complex, but someone who already lives there could walk in and steal my socks.)
- It's 50 feet from Amy Winehouse's home. (That's probably not a positive)

So Monday morning, the first I had in this place in Camden, was so glorious. You know when you just suddenly realize that everything's all right and you should just be proud of what you've got? I had that epiphany as I was savoring a steamy bowl of oatmeal. And a shower?! I'd only had baths at the Soho place. How does anyone get un-scummy in a bath? I might as well have eaten a Tootsie Roll and then licked myself clean. And then, the best thing of all, I walked from Camden to London Bridge to the Hayward. I think that's about 4 miles, walking past St. Paul's Cathedral, The Globe, Tate Modern, etc..., IN THE SNOW. Until I got to the Thames, I was almost the only one on the sidewalk. It was a bank holiday, but I still couldn't believe that no one else was taking a walk in the early afternoon. Then I saw a city bus and realized that everyone was looking at me through the steamy windows wondering why I would be walking in the snow.

Anyway, the point is that I was so happy to be in London that I started singing Christmas Carols--the happiest song I could think of was Johnny Mathis's "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Still in my head.

You can finally see pictures and our first real show on Marc's website

Friday, March 21, 2008


There's a lot of "drinks" involved in this trip. It doesn't necessarily involve "drinking," at least for me. It just involves going to large parties or strange clubs and finding interesting people to bring to our show. This has become increasingly easy because people are now recognizing Marc on the street. He's been in what seems like every newspaper in town. It's strange to be popular in London, at least by association. When we get back to LA, I'm certain that our "fame" here will be like having a girlfriend in "Canada."

Look at all the quotation marks.

We haven't had a day off in a long while and this morning my eyes were so puffy that I couldn't find the alarm. I'm having a hard time even writing the blog (obviously). We've got a show tonight and tomorrow, but then we have easy days Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Maybe I'll finally get to posting the pictures I've taken.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

In the groove

This is the most exciting time of my life. Every moment of my day is dedicated to either finding food or discovering new ways to make the Me & You talk show better. It's so much fun.

Marc's been in a photo shoot nearly every day. Did you see this? He was also in the London Times today, and then Getty images did a shoot on our set today.

Suddenly I feel like everything in my career has led me to this and I've done everything right. Isn't that grand?

Friday, March 14, 2008

Unamused English

Somehow, Marc has managed to get about a half-dozen volunteers for this show. Almost all of them are great: reliable, interesting, intelligent. Not necessarily funny, though. Before I left for London, someone reminded me of the Seinfeld where Jerry does some stand-up in England and absolutely bombs. EVERYTHING bombs here. I have three people who I'm supervising in the writing department and when they pitch me jokes, they're all PUNS. "Whut ef we put on a MARCH en the month of MARCH?" And they all laugh, "Wof, wof, wof." It's no "joke" that British humour peaked with Python. Every reference they make points to them. And when I make a reference to The Simpsons "Whacking Day," I get NOTHING.

Without the ability to make someone laugh, I'm just an annoying dick. That must be how my wife feels! Wof, wof, wof. Of course, Marc and I can be annoying. Marc likes to walk down the street and say (In a rumbly British tone) "Mashed potatoes!" and I will reply "Plum pudding!"

I promise to post more often, but the only free time I've had in the last three days is in the morning when Marc's in the tub. That's right. No shower. Pictures to come, too.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Drunks are Singing Love Songs

Some of you readers out there don't know that I've just flown to London for what may be many weeks. But even those of you who know I'm here don't entirely know why. My friend and writing partner Marc Horowitz has an art show at the Hayward Gallery. If you can find "The Me & You Show" on that link, it'll tell you essentially what's going on. I'll be leading a team of volunteer British writers and possibly co-hosting the show. I got in at 3pm GMT, which is 7 hours ahead of PDT. Now it's 2AM and, of course, I'm awake and ready for breakfast. Some quick things of note before the sleeping pill absorbs:

- It's very difficult to tell the fancy lads from the homeless. The smell is not always a give-away.
- This place looks like a movie set.
- In this neighborhood, men approach me for sex.
- Haven't seen an attractive girl yet.
- That doesn't mean I'm not curious to see what a London strip club looks like.
- One where WOMEN get undressed, of course.
- There are a lot of drunk assholes on the streets tonight, but when they shriek into the night they're able to retain a little bit of that British charm. Amazing.
- The flat I'm staying in is in a really great spot in SoHo and the place is actually real nice (I have a washer/dryer, Mom!), but if it existed in the States, it'd be condemned. The building has sunk so that the south side of the flat is about 6 inches lower than the north and the spaces between the floorboards are as big as a toe. Fortunately the couch I'm sleeping on slants the other way.
- Expensive. Everything. Maybe not the sex.
- This is the neatest place on Earth.

Pictures and more later!