Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Just a little off the middle

Lately, K and I have been discussing how we both think we're actually fairly stingy. We only buy on sale days. I don't mind drinking sour milk. K still uses her backpack from kindergarten. And I hate spending more than $15 on a haircut. That's burned me many times before, like when I didn't realize a barber had severe cataracts until after he gave me a reverse mohawk.

Today I went to Supercuts. It's right across the street from a nicer, but more expensive barbershop, so I actually can debate the cost/benefits right until the end. Sometimes I splurge. Sometimes I save. The cars behind me don't like that.

This morning's winning argument in favor of Supercuts was that what I'm really paying extra for at the other guy's is the intelligibility of the small talk. To me, that's like choosing an airline based on the quality of their food. I'd rather have the barber shut up so I can sulk at my multiplying chins. I couldn't do that today, though. This time, I was distracted by my Supercut barber's outfit: a knee-length, black t-shirt with the words "Special Sale $10!" This isn't particularly funny put into the context (which I discovered later in the haircut, after I had a quiet chuckle between myself and myself in the mirror) of a hair salon trying to sell eyebrow and and lip waxing at a discount. Signs advertising this were all over the shop.

Which brings me to my uncomfortable position. Let's face it: I've got big eyebrows. I know it, my friends know it, and this pushy female barber wanted to make $10 off of them. After my haircut, she implored that I add an additional service.

"Vould you like a champoo? Or..."
"No, I'm fine. The cut looks fine."
"Ve also have other serbices, you know."
"Oh, no, just the haircut."
"Vell, we're having zis sale all month."

I don't think I can go back there now. And that's probably better for all of us.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would beware of a $10 eyebrow wax that leaves you with one eyebrow.

Anonymous said...

Your eyebrows do not need waxing. Because even if you wax them, remember that your future children will still be born with them. Like, I wonder what Ashlee Simpson is going to do when she sees her old nose on Bronx's face. Poor thing will break down. You don't want to be Ashlee.

Plus you have good Inuit warrior eyebrows.

Mr. Zero said...

If I had a nickel every time I was called an Inuit warrior...

George said...

Friday, I had my hair cut at the barber for 13 bucks plus tip with no conversation because it was closer than Supercuts. Saturday, while doing my laundry (which was taking forever because of the comforter) I wandered over and had my eyebrows waxed for 8 bucks. It is 2009. There is no need to intimidate other warriors with your Inuit eyebrows. Wax them.